[deletia]
It stands for everything that's been lost
Monday, July 29, 2002
I love it when it rains at night, just when everyone is getting ready for bed. Although it's about 2 am in the morning, I decided to stay up a little longer just to enjoy the rain, maybe just by the window ledge, smoking a cigarette and thinking about the day. I think that can only be one of the good things that i look forward to from time to time.

I am also not sleeping now cos somewhere at the back of my mind, I know that this is officially the end of the holidays for me. 3 months. 3 months of accomplishing NONE of the things that I had wanted to do. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I'm thinking of prolonging the holidays by refusing to admit the end of the day has come and theres nothign i can do about it.

I'm also in the middle of downloading Finch's "Stay with Me," from the album What it is to burn. I heard so much about it that I have quite high hopes about it. I hope it doesnt disappoint. The download's taking forever! I thought that I will be getting Broadband today but we called the company today and it turned out that they screwed something up and I'll be only getting it come Aug 1. I was actually quite pissed, cos the customer service rep didnt sound very helpful or even sincere in her apologies. But I thought: oh come on, i'm getting BROADBAND, while there is still war and hunger and fighting elsewhere in the world. It sometimes depresses me, and I just want to drop everything and go volunteer somewhere in Cambodia to build a school or something for the kids. But I also know that like most of my plans for the holidays (actually all of them), they are not going to come to fruition anytime soon.

posted by Sharon K at 10:52 am
(0) comments
Sunday, July 28, 2002
Nothing much happened today. I just finished dinner and I'm regreting eating too much. At this rate, I'll be getting a stomachache really soon.
School will be starting soon (on Tuesday) and I'm already feeling nostalgic about the holidays. I had such great plans for the holidays. I wanted to accomplish so many things, like reading all my school texts before term starts, reading up on a totally new topic (i had decided on architecture) and also I had wanted to go out more with my friends and stuff. But what happened? Nothing! I did not do any of the above. I have the sickening feeling of guilt sinking in right now.

All the great plans and time but nothing to show for it.
posted by Sharon K at 4:46 am
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Saturday, July 27, 2002
Surfed through some interesting web quizzes.


Which Oyster Boy Character Are You?

I've always liked The Melancholy Death of the Oyster Boy. It's a funny, dark and slightly disturbing book. I bought it previously but has now since gone missing. I have no idea where it is!



What obscure band are you?

Try them too!
posted by Sharon K at 5:59 am
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Countdown to Broadband:


2 days!!

posted by Sharon K at 5:11 am
(0) comments
Friday, July 26, 2002
I'm feeling weird today. On one hand, I'm really happy that we will be getting broadband soon (next week! I can't wait). I hate being "imprisoned" by the 56k limit. It's so inconvenient and slow like hell. A normal download from kazaa over my 56k modem takes almost 20 minutes but come broadband, I will probably be downloading 10 songs in the same amount of time! YipeeeE!!!

On the other hand, I received news today I did not manage to get into the French class for next semester. I took half a day off work on Tuesday to take the placement test and the results are out today. It's quite a downer cos I was really looking forward to studying French in a "school" environment. It's much better than in an organisation outside because all they think about is how to maximise their time and money. And the important part is that it's so expensive!

In a school, people in the same class tend to be more "conscientious" in a way, because they know that they have a massive exam to pass for the module. But in a organisation outside, there aren't any exams of this sort because people are just not inclined towards studying. Moreover, the school focuses on all aspects of the language while the organisation inclines towards the conversational, which to me is really a half-arsed way of learning a beautiful language..

Sigh.
posted by Sharon K at 5:56 am
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Monday, July 22, 2002
Stolen from Mike's blog:-A Book Survey:

1. What book has most influenced your outlook on life?
Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

2. What was the hardest book to get through?
Anything by Jacques Derrida is a difficult read.

3. If you could only read one genre of books, what will it be?
Continental Philosophy

4. What book seems simple, but isn't?
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

5. Do you carry any books with you?
All the time. Right now it's Franz Kafka's The Castle

6. What book do you like (or think you like) but shamefully have not finished?
Walden by Thoreau (what a coincidence, Mike!)

7. What novel have you read the most times?
Catcher in the Rye, Life After God (actually all of Coupland's earlier stuff), High Fidelity, Fountainhead

8. What books do you remember from being a kid?
Richard Scarry, Enid Blyton.

9. Who have you read the most books by?
Douglas Coupland, JD Salinger, and Jacques Derrida.

Granted it is a very selective survey. But it sets me wondering about how the kinds/ types of books one reads actually tells alot about the reader. I remember something from Catcher in the Rye very well. In it, Mr Antonin (Caulfield's ex-teacher) says that one should read to "dress up one's mind," but he must first understand the "size" of his mind. I think the analogy works very well. God I love that book.
posted by Sharon K at 5:32 am
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Saturday, July 20, 2002
It's really warm today; a sunday afternoon after lunch and things are really slow. I feel like a nap is creeping up on me but i just ate. I'm still having that annoying dry cough and it still rips me up every time. But the medication from the doc's help a little but the coughing still keeps me awake at night.

Because of the coughing, I had to stay at home from wednesday till today. I haven't stepped out of the house since Wed! It's amazing cos I have never attempted this before. Sometimes it's nice cos you dont feel that you have to go anywhere; and everything is nice and quiet. But like today, just as I'm feeling better, I feel bored at home. I'm playing my brother's computer games. He's got the new Warcraft 3 and it's fun, once in a while, to indulge in violent cgi strategy games, just so you can let any frustration out I guess.

I'm online right now with good friend and it's nice to have a chat over MSN about nothing at all. I miss her and I hope she comes back soon...
posted by Sharon K at 10:33 pm
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I did it! I've made the big switch in template and given this a new home.

I wouldn't have been able to do this without the very generous help of Mike. (this sounds like a oscar acceptance speech but never mind).
Please let me know how you like it.
Thanks!
posted by Sharon K at 1:19 am
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Friday, July 19, 2002
I'm hacking my lungs out here. I have been sick from Tuesday till now. It's the kind that rips your throat apart every time you cough. It hurts like hell! But I only went to the doctor today cos i was just feeling like "thats it. i'm going to die hacking like a mad woman, but i'm not going to die in this hell hole!" and harump, cough, hack and off i went to the doc.

Nothing much happened: i've been in and out several fevers so my senses may have been irreparably dulled already.
I've been really stubborn too. My parents nagged and nagged for the past 3 days for me to see the doc but i just didnt feel like it. All I wanted was to stay where i was. You know that kind of feeling where you are so ill that you refuse to move an inch, even if it is to seek help? I may have been dulled by the fever but that was what i felt..
Kinda sick huh?!
posted by Sharon K at 3:49 am
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Wednesday, July 17, 2002

Which John Cusack Are You?


posted by Sharon K at 10:15 am
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Monday, July 15, 2002
weariness


how tired can one really get? I worked the entire day today (gotta make the stack of hay while the sun shines?) and went out for a movie after. 2 years ago, I wouldn't have felt a thing and would probably have gone out for a drink and chat with my friends till real late. But now, at the grand old age of 24, my entire body was protesting, as if going out for a movie was a real torture.

I watched Minority Report and it wasn't as bad as I thought "blockbusters" would be. It was pretty good I guess. But what really annoyed me, and you would know if you watched it already, is the "swinging arms" motion that Tom Cruise does when he was facing the massive computer screen in the opening minutes of the show. I mean, what was THAT about? He looked like he was swiping at mosquitoes or something.

posted by Sharon K at 10:50 am
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Saturday, July 13, 2002

More Commuter Experiences



What kind of a commuter are you? For someone like me who has to take the public transport everyday (my work place is too near to justify the cost of a car), you can't help but categorise the different types of commuters onthe train. Here's what I've come up with:

1. The "staring-blankly" commuter
I would think that this is probably the most common type there is around. There's nothing wrong with it, unless you try and see yourself from the outside looking into the train. You'll probably be spooked at how "alien" the people in the train looked. If I were an alien, I'd probably think that these are not actually real people but robots programmed to work to death (or something like that).

2. The "reading" commuter
This can be sub-divided into 2 groups: the newspapers and the books.
Frankly I dislike the newspapers group. It's irritating when you are short like me (hey kellyanne, i'm 5 feet too!) and newspapers are flapping right in your face. There is only so much elbow space in the entire train, mister!
The books group are alright I guess; maybe thats cos I read all the time on the train (though my journey probably takes me only 20 min).

3. The "interested" commuter
Now I don't understand this group. It's 8.30 in the morning and you are looking "interested"? Unbelievable. I would have to ask you for the secret of your life if I can ever be roused to bother about you. These people look around like they have never been in a train before. Making eye contact with your fellow sardine-commuters and nodding in a "I-know-I'm-in-the-same-shit-too" manner? Once again, may I emphasise that it's 8.30 AM in the morning! These people are weird! Thank goodness they are in the minority.

For me, I'm the girl in the furthermost corner of the train, listening to my discman and reading a book (one of the best "commuter-fiction": anything by douglas coupland and nick hornby), trying to delude myself that I'm actually "not" going to sell my life away to a company who doesn't give 2 hoots about me...

What about you?

posted by Sharon K at 5:39 am
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Wednesday, July 10, 2002
I realise that I spend an obscene amount of time almost each day before I leave the house choosing the CDs that will accompany me in the journey to work. I hadn't given it much thought before but now I realise that I had better do something about it before I go mad trying to rush for the bus and sneaking into the office late.

Let's analyse why it seems so difficult choosing commuter music:
It seems that the main problem for me at least, is to choose the music that will complement the mood I'm currently in.
Problem: Sometimes, you just don't know what mood you are in. And if you try and analyse it too much, you lose the mood itself.

I've tried on several occasions to just randomly select whatever CD my fingers go through. But this definitely does not work. Because if you should choose a CD that's "wrong," you are going to be stuck with it the entire time you are squashed like a sardine in a train. Anyone who's taken a train during the morning rush before should understand the sheer difficulty (or near impossibility) of changing a CD in your discman while trying desperately hanging on to a pole and not revealing the contents of your bag to bored and curious fellow commuters.

On good days, I wake up with a song already in mind. It's cool cos I know what CD I'm going to bring. Therefore, there's not going to be the frustrating 20 minute STARE into my CD collection. Everything seems planned out nicely. It's cool cos you know you are going to be a better mood in the commute, the transitory stage between my little world and the big bad world of work awaiting me, and maybe the big bad world of work would be easier to bear.

On bad days however, none of my CDs feel right. None of them will be able to bridge my safe world to that of work. I need to feel that I'm empowered somehow I guess. If you add up the amount of time I spend choosing these essential life-preserving CDs, and convert it to the miserable hourly wages I'm getting, I will be able to afford any number of CDs of my fancy.

I have decided that to stop being frustrated and more importantly, late for work, I need a little stack of CDs that will "weather" any mood I'm in in the mornings. So if you have any suggestions, please let me know.


posted by Sharon K at 11:10 am
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Saturday, July 06, 2002
Thought this was pretty cute when I stumbled over it at www.paulfrank.com.
Downloaded some other stuff, like desktops and screensavers. However, I was thinking of sending a screensaver over to my work place (can you believe it has no internet access!!??). So, if anyone knows how to send the file (it is zipped) via email to a computer that has no winzip program, please please let me know. Yes. Work is that boring.


Though you stand only two feet tall you are not afraid to follow your best pal Julius on any adventure. You dream of one day going to the moon so you can stretch yourself out and become taller.
test yourself at geekykid.net


posted by Sharon K at 7:00 am
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Friday, July 05, 2002
Been thinking more about the whole idea of cooking shows. I have nothing against these guys but isn't it funny that up to today, house husbands who can whip up a storm are still (ever so) rare? There is still a stigma on women being the caretakers and cooks and the top chefs in world-renowned establishments are GUYS?
The reason i kept on harping about cooking shows is because Anthony Bourdain actually appeared for a book signing session in the local Borders recently. I was lucky enough to have gotten an autograph from him. I have some pictures too but for some reason, they didnt turn up very well. His book is really cool too. During the short talk, he mentioned that he is sick of all the "cultured" and "refined" cooking shows on TV and the nice coffee-table type of cookbooks that they published. He said that if he were to publish a cookbook (of recipes), he will make it really old and tatty and greasy even. The reason is, he claims, that the nice coffee-table types of cookbooks usually only stay on the coffeetable and not in the kitchen. He wants to publish a book that you can bring into the kitchen and flip the pages with dirty greasy hands. I thought that made some sense though.

I stumbled on this site called the Friday Five. Seems interesting so.. here goes nothing!

1. Where are you right now?
Sitting at my computer at home, watching TV and feeling a little hungry.

2. What have you lost recently?
Nothing that I can remember but I'm always losing things anyways. My memory's like a sieve.

3. What was the first CD you ever purchased? Does that embarrass you now?
"Pablo Honey," Radiohead. It still rocks.

4. What is your favorite kind of writing pen?
I like pens with ink that dries with every stroke you write. My fave brand of pen is Pilot V5 Black.

5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Pistachio Mint. It's amazing (and also rather expensive). It's not strictly speaking an ice-cream. I think it's a "gelato."
Just another name to distract myself from the amount of fat it contains.



posted by Sharon K at 7:08 am
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Thursday, July 04, 2002
I was wondering about the attraction of cooking shows on TV. It's amazing when a guy in a white uniform can just talk to himself, fiddle around a little around the kitchen and voila, you get a seemingly perfect meal, no, feast, on a perfectly decorated kitchen table. Where on earth can you find guys like that?? Let me know.

I think it's funny how these guys always have a "prepared" dish when the recipe calls for the ingredients to be "chilled overnight." It kind of defeats the purpose of a cooking show isn't it?
Well, just some thoughts.
posted by Sharon K at 7:42 am
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Wednesday, July 03, 2002




Which Earthbound character are you?




Well..that seemed interesting. Still a geek at heart I see.

I went to the hospital again today and my aunt seemed a little better, though in my opinion, not well enough. But she has just undergone a rather big operation and according to the docs, she's making fine progress.
I hope she gets better soon.
I feel bad when I'm not there and when I'm there, I dont really know what to say or do to make her feel better. and sometimes this may be really frustrating.

posted by Sharon K at 3:48 am
(0) comments
Monday, July 01, 2002
Hospitals make me nervous. I visited my aunt yesterday and I was thinking about how sad all the patients look. I know that they are in pain but they just look so despondent.
I like to see however, their families visit them cos they all try and look cheerful and make the atmosphere in the ward seem lighter somehow. Naively I wish there is no sickness but that's impossible. I just hate hospitals that's all.

posted by Sharon K at 6:45 am
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You can reach me at scornfate at gmail dot com, if you can be arsed.


 
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